I try not to share negative stuffs with people. Didn't want to weigh it on them. Didn't want to magnify it; the more you talk about it, the bigger it becomes. But having said that, I have the urge to tell the closer few. Because, we talked about everything. I might not use their advices(most of the time I sort it out myself..), but the urge to share with them. Is unstoppable. No idea why. And if they "follow up", be it a how are you today. It makes me feel better. But not following up, doesn't mean you don't care la.

B used to tell me. There is no point sharing. Reasons stated above. He prefer to go to people who would help him solve the problem and not going to the "closer few". Well, I guessed that the difference between Venus and Mars, isn't it. Anyway, I could go to both, haa.. Back to the point of negative stuff. One thing I love. Is to talk about it after it is sorted. This is me:)

And very randomly. B once told me. People who cried during funerals. They are crying for themselves, over their own losses. Their own guilt. I never once cried during these occasions. I don't cry because I believed she is in a better place, free from suffering and pain. Well, the crying could come later, that another esp. So maybe this time, you might be right.

Using the same reasoning. Being autistic is not a suffering. He himself don't view it as a suffering. He is not in pain. So, why are you crying.

Hope everyone reading this. Will see sunshine after the rain. HK In 2days. Hope it comes sooner and last longer. Checking out...

I been preparing breakfast in SZ daily. Without fail. Let's see how long this last.


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The puking dinner course.

This is a tough communication course. This course is about promises, about responsibilities. To me, I feel that an ACE requires my understanding, my supportiveness. At the same time, I am not without doubt. It is all worth it?

Tonight's dinner. A remark makes me 1. Wanna cry. 2. Wanna laugh. I ended up losing my appetite. I feel like puking. Puking out everything. Is it a joke? Does he really mean it? This hurts.

I really wanted to just run away, from all of this. I miss my cats. Feel so alone.


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Safe and sound in Shenzhen

This is my second night in SZ. It is like that;

-not as developed as Shanghai. But weather been pleasant.

-this evening, all the traffic lights in Futian(CBD) not working. Didn't seems to cause much chaos.. From my observations, just slower traffic.

-Sichuan Chicken from Kenny Rogers sucks big time.

-Links City equals the City Links in Singapore.

My favorite verse in Fix you..I see a stream down your face when you lose something you can't replace. And I.... Lights will guide you home. And ignite your bones. And I will fix to fix you. Good night!

Below. Underground pass near our service apartment. Supper hawker.


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The password.

I asked Yellow about the pwd of the safe in our SZ apartment. He answered:0405.



Above: Seoul graffiti.

I always find this very romantic. But I don't think I mentioned it to anyone. Not a single soul. It's not hard to tell from my face, that I am over the moon. Really. Yellow must be thinking: that's easy. ..

And no, pwd:ilovesxxn. Is not romantic. Not that I am biased. This is not I love NYC t shirt. Same same but different...


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My SHA friend

Today. I found out, I have a friend in SHA. You know, how I always claim that, all the friends I hanged around with, are Yellow's friends. Never my very own. Although I am comfortable/happy going out with them even when Yellow

I told her today, 我明天要和先生去深圳。 要6个月后再回卢。From her reaction, I realized I have a friend... ... During lunch, she said. 你要记录深圳有趣的，啊，特别是好吃的。因为我喜欢吃。哈哈。回来和我说。

At my lobby, we said goodbye. I could feel that she wanted to hug me. But was stopped by god knows what. Maybe Chinese don't display that.. The thing about this is,I never know if hugs @ these times are appropriate. To some, is big no no. Or like JE. After the farewell, he sent me home. He pretended to be busy tidying his stuff to avoid all the parting.. Elevated, I am guessing.

Anyway, I went up and gave her a hug. Natural and it feels good. As if my 3 years away from Singapore wasn't wasted..

Just wanna to jot this down. Good night.


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加分。。

你记得带拉肚子的药。老豆的一句话，已加了分。

I miss you,so message you, not replying your message. Indeed la, 很加分。

你肚子饿吗？懂得关心我肚子的“黄先生“，超级加分！but if he could be more helpful in packing for SZ, better!


3 degrees now... 这也加分！！


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Travel Buddies

Eric said:顺境难分辨。逆境让你认清你的朋友。Actually, planning for travel, have the same effect? The NYC involves getting approval from big boss. Wa. The TKY pending husband's approval. Wa wa. When we are 16, we need to ask for finances and permission for travel. Nothing much had changed, isn't? Bottom line. Regardless, I am touched by the effort. To the extend, results is secondary. Truth.

Apart from them, I checked in with Yellow and 1. Yellow is straightforward. "I just started work, how to take leave. "The next minute, he showed me some horrible YouTube about gal bad encounter in Harlem..is this his way of telling me not to go? 贱。

Have myself to blame. As Yellow describe. 你现在要。就一定现在要nor。不可以等？明年后年？He must be crazy! All these. Reminds me of my childhood. 大人要上班。不能带我去玩。 原来，我是孩子气。

Is these travels. About the places? Or more like an excuse for me to meet up. For all others, is the latter. For NYC, I think it's a stamp I need to have. Similar to completing the "I am a young botanist " I must go! And like how I describe to Yellow. Going Paris with you is 9 out of 10. Going alone is 8.8. NYC falls under that category.

No idea why. I feel good after this entry. Good night!


Above. He is called Mr Holy. Born in Maldives. Currently, Looking out of place in a Cheena Living Room now. 恨。

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Glued on TV today

M asking me. How's new year been. My ans is Fan Bing Bing new drama. Maybe Yellow is looking at the cleavage. But I am on something else.


李世民 or 李治。Father and son. 李世民，睿智。英勇。能送你一庄花苑，一道彩虹。very charming, very capable. But problem is. He loves you and make you happy. You can't own him, not exclusively yours. 李治。on the other hand, cheeky young. 帅。Indecisive, 难成大事。 But he only loves you, exclusively yours.


我。爱李世民。

心动。心痛。Pretty surprised about the way it hurts. 我是歌手III. Kit Chan, jiayou!!


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WTF Sunday

Totally.
-overslept and hungry
-started on wrong footing
-broke some plates
-a Black Friday conversation
-gym without sport bra and socks
-awfully made sandwich
- all things that or rates.

非诚勿扰。I hate what the sun brings, the sun burns. Hurts and itches.

On the other hand. I like how I strike random conversation. Without saying anything about my bad mood. How it instantly brings me to a better place. I love the simple Sunday. The red and brown rice congee. The carpet.

Good morning Monday. 5 Jan.

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Day 1 2015

It calls for an entry. My resolutions for 2014. Silver linings, been plenty. Suppose I am good at finding these lining or making them up. Get fit, well, arguable, but let's blame it on lack of weight training for time being. Be nice; it is my usual. My damage done is as powerful as my wins. This is me.

For 2015. I hope to be find directions. I love my life now. Carefree. But as SugarDad n Co puts it, 那么有本事，读这么多书，不要浪费。Theres some truth in it, isn't? I will be precise on this. My plan is to travel the hell out. The NYC plan, I don't think anyone is keen. I shall run solo. My Nordic, is bleak. France? My usuals; seems hopeful for now. Let's see. Anyway, let the awesomeness die by end of Q1-2. The direction plan B shall start after my b.d. Something like that~

I am surprised you are reading this.. Happy to receive a new year greeting from you. Unexpected. All the best for the new role. You are probably the smartest guy I know. I admire that of you. Keep in touch.

Another resolution of mine. Be nice to my loved ones. It is time. To not hurt them with my words. I just never learn my lessons, isn't. Whip!


1.1.2015 9pm. Missing you.


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她。

Back from Seoul-HK-Dubai-Maldives. Cami lost some weights. 是想我了吧？These few days. Wherever I go. She will follow. 我的小跟班. I can feel her love. 被爱的感觉真好。


I will lower the tv volume. Mute my hp. Wouldn't even reach for the blanket when I am shivering with cold. I want her to sleep well...爱人（猫）是幸福的！


She will love you forever, if you let her. I wish I can say the same.

P.S. From above I heard. Angels sing to me these words. And sometimes in your eyes. I see the beauty in the world..Coldplay.

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